My first mistake was betting against Norman Chad.
It was a foolish mistake, I know. The following words are my penance.
Xmas was fast approaching and I badly wanted to pop Chad's snarky ego and pocket an easy $100.
It started innocently enough the day of the WSOP Paradise $10,500 eight-game mix bracelet event: Gambling mad Chad posted a last longer bet on X against fellow legendary commentator, Lon McEachern.
In my mind I was picturing a despondent Chad, displaying a 'Lon Rules' tattoo, and admitting utter defeat for all the world to witness and rejoice in.
I'm was all-in for that.
Watch the video above for spoilers, and to realize how much love Lon McEachern has for Norman Chad, and vice versa, win or lose.
How it began
The terms of the challenge were simple enough.
Before the ink had even dried on the wager, meme extraordinaire Ray Zorfold had imagined how the scene would play out. Is Ray psychic or what?
Chad then confirmed that the ‘henna’ tattoo would be on the loser’s right forearm.
You read that right. A ‘henna’ tattoo.
Perhaps you’re thinking what I was thinking at the time — that it was an incredibly weak-sauce penalty. Were two grown men scared of a few thousand sharp little needle pricks and permanent ink? Oh, pshaw!
"The tattoo was Lon's idea," says Chad. "There is not a one-in-a-million chance I would ever tat up my God-created utopian body, but I knew there was not a one-in-10-million chance he could win a last-longer bet in an eight-game mix.
"Lon only knows how to play one game, and Go Fish is not even in the eight-game mix."
The heckling began soon thereafter.
Of course, I had to clap-back to Chad and put my hard-earned cash on the line. I asked, "Where can I put a $100 bet on Lon?"
“I’ll take your action, meat,” Chad snapped back.
And we were off the races.
How it ended
Sadly, there was little suspense as the winner of the last longer bet was declared not too long after the 'shuffle up and deal.'
WTF?
According to Chad, McEachern was out before Chad had even taken a seat in the event. McEachern lost in record time.
It was also a sad day for all two of Lon's fans who had poker-staked him all of $100 toward the $10K entry. If that didn't spell a lack of confidence in their man, I don't know what does.
Personally, I had staked nothing towards Lon, either. In my heart of hearts, I had known he was toast.
And my second mistake was being utterly blinded by the possibility of a Norman Chad annihilation and quick exit from the eight-game mix WSOP Paradise event.
Perhaps I had placed too much emphasis on the fact that McEachern possessed a WSOP Circuit ring and Chad nary a one. (You owe me one, Lon, for working that tidbit into the story).
Even though McEachern is more talented and handsome, taller and fitter, and possesses a better commentator's voice, what advantages could he possibly have thought he held over Chad in an eight-game mix event? Apparently, very little.
"Norman is a better overall player but I am better at no limit hold'em, since he does not play the game. Besides the obvious attributes you mentioned, I could take him in any physical activity — but he can write circles around me and is an amazing reporter. I'd love to get him on the golf course, though!"
Is that the next challenge between the two old friends? We'll have to stay tuned.
In the meantime, Chad was quick to admit, "Lon is older, taller than me and he is better-looking with a better voice than me. But I have the advantage in every other category, and that's A LOT OF CATEGORIES."
I lost $100, and my pride.
And even worse, losing any bet versus Chad will result in him being infinitely meaner to me than usual on X. And he's already pretty freakin' mean. I guess he must think we're friends or something. Wishful thinking on his part.
Norman turned out to be a good winner, though. He refused to accept an immediate Zelle payment from myself, instead demanding an over-the-top lunch buffet, to be paid later this month.
I'm thinking the Taco Bell combo menu will suffice.
Hasta la vista, Norman! 'Til next time we meet.
